Yes, this means not taking the candy bar from the store without paying for it and not cheating on your tests or taxes, but it also means so much more. It means looking at ourselves honestly—at our weaknesses and problems and also our strengths. If there is addiction (and codependency is an addiction) or any other weakness causing us problems, it means lifting the cover that blinds us from seeing that we have a problem and seeking help. We can’t fix what we won’t acknowledge. If there was addiction in the family you grew up in, you almost certainly have obsessive behaviors and a tendency to anger or fear or both. We can’t see what we close our eyes to. If you want honest answers about your strengths and weaknesses, ask your wife and/or your children, then be quiet and listen to what they have to say. They love you enough to be honest with you. Love yourself enough to be honest with yourself.